Everyone Has One!

The Old Me

Hello friend! I believe all the best conversations and introductions start with being true to who you really are, not what others want you to be, say, or do — that’s masking not ministering! I’ve known people who try to shove their faith and negative opinions down my throat of who I am, or should be. I’m not here to do that, but I will be real with you, no matter what it looks like or feels like — because real matters! Give me a minute to tell you my experience with Jesus Christ. Growing up I was the outcast in the family.  I would have done almost anything to fit in, to be acknowledged as someone worth knowing and loving.

Love is a funny thing. For some love seems to come easy; they give it like it’s nothing. It’s as natural to them as breathing. For others, it’s much harder. Sometimes there are people in our lives we feel are supposed to love us, and for good reason. A father, mother, and our sibling(s). These are the ones we’re closest to when we’re young. These are the ones we seek love and acceptance from, and if we don’t receive it, it can be heart breaking and life-altering. For most of my life, I tried to be the perfect person (no such thing of course), but you get the gist of it.  I did everything I could to please others, but failed miserably.

Especially, family, the ones who I felt should love and accept me but for whatever reason…didn’t fully embrace me. As I got older, I started forming relationships and friendships that taught me what true acceptance looked like. It was at that point that I realized there was nothing wrong with me. There never had been. I was holding on to a lot of pain and anger for half of my life, that I desperately needed to let go of. Holding on to it was only hurting me; it wasn’t affecting them in the slightest. I realized I deserved real love, not that surface love with no substance. The problem was me — I was seeking my worth from people who didn’t care, choose, or create me to begin with.

The New Me

We’re not put here on earth to win some popularity contest, or try to force others to love us. We have God’s un-conditional love. I’m done wasting my time trying to force someone else to care about me. It’s not my job to convince them I’m worth it; the ones who truly matter are able to see that. We don’t get to choose our family, like we do our friends, or spouses for that matter. Perhaps they loved me with what they had to give. I ended up smiling on the outside, but hating my life on the inside for so long. I grew up blaming God for the emptiness, and loneliness I felt inside. God didn’t bash or diminish me— He doesn’t punish you for your truth!

“If you want to know your worth, you don’t ask creation, you ask the Creator.”

Instead, He showed me that if I surrendered control of my life to Christ, I could cast aside my old life—and gain a new life (a new me) someone I’d like much better. I started journaling my thoughts, and blogging. It is here I discovered my outlet, and passion for writing about the hard things. I regret that it took me so long to find this kind of love and freedom to unapologetically, be who God created me to be. God didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do. Instead, He opened doors and gave me an outlet to be real and see the worth He sees in me.  

His Spirit guides me and molds me in ways that are too mind-blowing and mysterious to describe, but very rewarding. It can be scary at times, but the fear fades each time you reach for Him. Don’t just take my word for it—reach for Him yourself.

Okay, a few fun facts about me:

I’m the author of Be A Wife Not A Knife, and Beauty for Ashes.

• I’m a wife (married 17 years) mom of two sons, three daughters, and pup owner to a Malshi.
• I’m a nature lover.
• I love reading my Bible. Especially, when it reads me back. (I’m sometimes a hot mess)!
• I’m a Chocolate lover who has been known to eat an entire pack of Oreos (family-size) by herself, in one day… well more like eight hours – don’t judge me!
• I love tea. My favorite is Lavender and Chamomile.
• I watch Greater, at least twice a year. (Wait…you haven’t seen it?) It’s definitely a tear jerker.
• I love the words beautiful and bloom. They remind me that I’m fearful and wonderfully made!
• I strongly dislike the word hustle and grind. I believe what God has for me is given and flows— not forced.
• I dislike surface love. Like when you tell someone your day is fine—when it’s really crappy!
• I love love love Jesus. He is my jam (joy and motivation) and I spread Him on everything.
• My favorite Christian movies: Overcomer, FireProof, The Shack, and The Blind Side.
• My favorite cake is: German Chocolate
• My favorite Authors are: C.S. Lewis, Rick Warren, Lisa Bevere, and Paul David Tripp
• I’m definitely a plant lover. My favorites are Monstera Deliciosa, and the Hoya Kerrii.
• I have one new book coming in 2021 and three in 2022 , and the best way to not miss any of the news is to subscribe to my newsletter and join my street team here.